The Scrub-Down: Shelby talks beer, bubbles and horror?

Shelby here, and on this chilly Tuesday before Valentine’s Day my thoughts are floaty with the possibility of tasty clearance candy, a hot bath, beer and horror movies.

Life’s too short not to spoil ourselves, especially during the Midwest winters where the air can get so frigid breathing hurts. So last week I treated myself and it involved Vanilla Bean Buffalo Sweat from Tall Grass Brewing company, a bubbleroon called Whole-Lotta-Love and a package of chocolate Hostess Donettes.

In case you want to see what the heck a bubbleroon is.

As I was enjoying the sweet, apple-cinnamon scent of the bubbly water colored pink from the bubbleroon, and sipped my beer with a donnette, I decided now was the perfect time to scroll Netflix for a little horror flick to watch on my phone. I landed on “Cabin Fever,” the 2016 remake of the film directed by Eli Roth in 2002. For those who aren’t familiar with “Cabin Fever,” it’s horny teenagers in a remote cabin vs. a contagious, flesh-eating virus. The original is a gory and porn-y ride, and despite some of the notable moments such as a leg shaving scene (yikes, yikes, yikes) it left me feeling meh.

Now as a side note, I’m not a huge fan of Eli Roth. “Hostel” is the one movie he directed that I’m somewhat okay with because in between the soft-porn and torture-porn end was a scary, nougaty center. I loved how terrifying the idea was, and I enjoyed the creativity behind it. However, my problem with Roth is he doesn’t avert the camera and feels obligated to show every last gritty detail. Most of the time, if not all, it’s too much for me. Don’t believe me? Watch Green Inferno and try to not fast-forward through the cannibalism.

So with this remake produced by Eli Roth, I wondered if it was going follow suit. Was it going to be so ruthless I wanted nothing to do with it? Well, “Cabin Fever” (2016) is identical in plot to the original but it doesn’t deliver the horrifying moments as successfully as its predecessor, and it doesn’t try to do something new either. Overall, this luke-warm film is perfect to skip through while shoving donettes in your face.

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